If I could just…

This is what it feels like to be played the fool.
I thought I could trust you, I thought that you actually told the truth this time.
You cheated on me before, and we broke apart. You said you never wanted to see me again, but then you suddenly came back for more, you came back to me, begging me to believe that you had changed, that you were a different man now, that you had learned your lesson, that you would never do anything to hurt me again.

You promised me so many things, you promised me the stars, but you were but a firefly, burned out quicker than you came back.
You said you loved me more than anything, and I started to believe you, I started to trust you. But all of a sudden I saw the signs of something, I couldn’t quite tell what was wrong, but you did stuff, that reminded me of back when you were unfaithfull to me.
And I started to ask you why why why? Please tell me why you are acting so weird all of a sudden. But you yelled at me, and called me crazy. That I was fantasizing and making up things that weren’t there, that I was seeing ghosts…that I should just trust you, because you had been true to me all this time, in this our new life, and that you thought you had earned my trust, that I should make an effort to trust you more.
And I tried not to listen to my voice of sanity, I tried not to listen to all the signs I saw, and I told myself to trust you.
But yesterday, you were really weird, acting all violent against me in the morning, and then being all sweet and lovey dovey to me in the afternoon…until suddenly you wanted me to leave.
I found it kinda odd, that you all of a sudden just wanted me to leave, you had looked at a text message, and then you asked me to leave, because you had stuff to do, schoolstuff…

and I left without a fight, I said it was ok, that we’d be seeing eachother soon, and then I made you promise not to visit or have Sofie visit you.
I don’t feel good about this new friend of yours, you talk so much about her, like she’s some wonderful person..well, ofcourse I want you to have friends, but I don’t want those friends to be girls who steal your hear away from me. why do you stray from my side?? why couldn’t you just be true to me?
You promised…and yet…the promise were broken.

I tried calling you, and you said you were practicing the guitar, and couldn’t really talk to me.
So I hung up, and waited until later, when I called you again, but you didn’t want to answer me, I could hear on the way the phone stopped ringing, that you had hung up on me, and then you wrote me a message, telling me that you’d call me later, you just had to finish your homework, but you never called me back, so I called you up an hour later, and then you shot off your phone. I tried calling your home phone but you didn’t answer, and I took my stuff and went to your place, it takes an hour and a half to get there from me, but when I finally arrived, you weren’t there.

The lights were on in all of the house, and your bike was gone…
I could only conclude that you had gone somewhere, to sleep. without telling me.
I was sure that it was Sofie. I was sure of it, you were cheating on me again, with this new girl.
you left your house and went to her place around ten pm, I’m sure of it, because you usually always answer the phone when I call you, or you call me back, you never just send me a text message, like you did last night. you did it before, back on february 14th when you cheated on me with Tenna, you pretended that you were in a train on your way to me, and that you couldn’t answer the phone, because there is such bad connections there. but in reality you were with Tenna, you cheated on me and I was sure this was the same.

Suddenly I realised you must have been doing this since we got back from Japan, that you have been cheating on me for so long…I was stunned, I had truly believed that you had changed…that you wouldn’t treat me like that again..

I waited for an hour but you didn’t come back home, I called you several times but your phone was turned off. I imagined you with her, having sex, kissing her, giving her all that belongs to me.
I still see you sleeping next to her.

You turned your phone on at around 7.30 you usually never sleeps this late.
Did you shower with her? Did she taste good? HOW WAS IT TO CHEAT ON ME AGAIN?

You wrote me the most unlikely explanation I’ve ever heard.
You said, that you heard noices in the house, and that you had been scared to death by some kind of vision of a spirit or a ghost, that you saw in your house, and you just wanted to get away as fast as possible, so you took your bike and ran away. And you told me the reason you didn’t tell me, was that your phone was fucking up, and you couldn’t call,and then it went dead.
But how did you contact her then? how did you tell her that you were on your way?
You shut off your phone on purpose.
if what you’re telling me is true, then why didn’t you come to me? why didn’t you come to your girlfriend, why didn’t you call me and ask me to come save you?

why didn’t you borrow her phone and call me? or text me?
you say its because her phone was dead and that the extra phones was upstairs with her parrents and that you didn’t want to wake them up.
So you actually snuck into the house huh?

I don’t believe you

I don’t believe a word you’re saying…

You insist on not having done anything with her, you insist that you were true to me.

BUT I DON’T BELIEVE A FUCKING WORD YOU’RE SAYING!
YOU’RE LYING!

WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?

WHY!? what have I done to deserve this again? WHY?

this video describes what I think of you perfectly..

Birthday reflections

Tomorrow is my 26th birthday..
Yet another year added to my age..time really flies..

I don’t feel 26, well no surprise, I never felt 25 either. It’s too sudden, I feel like my life has passed by me in an instant and I haven’t achieved anything.
10 years ago, I was sure, that, when I turned 25 I’d have it all…Money, a husband, a career, a house in the country, a car, a family…maybe even a child..

I’m turning 26 tomorrow, and I haven’t achieved anything yet. I work instead of studying, and it’s not my dream job, it’s just a job to get by. I’m not married, in fact I don’t even have an official boyfriend, I work too much, I don’t have any money, and I don’t own a car.
I wish I could have at least achieved something.

Well, I DID achieve the title of being Danish Champion of Cosplay 2007…and I did participate in World Cosplay Summit in Japan August 2008. It was a great experience, and I think of it as one of the biggest achievements of my life. What else is there to talk about? Nothing really important.
I guess this is what happens when you get older, you start to reflect about your life, especially when you see everyone around you getting married or getting children.
I don’t even want children, not yet at least, I don’t know if I will ever want them, but I don’t see myself as a mother yet.
In fact I see myself as a teenager or someone in their early 20’s, I can’t believe I’m closer to 30 now than 20. It’s horrible…

I have 4 years left, until I am REALLY old..
my life really never turned out like I wished for..
I hoped I had found my one and only, and that he’d have asked me to marry me, and that we’d be living together as a happy couple…

I guess it’s a phase I’m going through right now, it’s like I don’t matter to anyone, and I feel really exhausted all the time. I don’t think anyone really cares about me.
It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I only recieved 2 birthday cards today. It’s sunday tomorrow, so I guess if people had sent me birthday cards they’d have sent them so I would receive them today, since they don’t deliver mail tomorrow. But only my grandmother and an old penpal remembered my birthday, or cared to send a card.

The one I care about the most, didn’t even care to send a card..so what if we’ll be seeing eachother tomorrow, he could have atleast sent the card in advance…
I don’t even thin he’s gotten me a card or anything, since he says he doesn’t have any money.

Why is it so difficult to get older?
When you’re younger you want to be older, but when you cross a certain age, you don’t wanna grow any older..I wish I was still 21. That was a pretty good age.

Well, tomorrow, is my birthday, and I have a gig doing a cosplay show for children. It’s only for half an hour, but I won’t be able to have a birthday party, cuz it’s sunday, and nobody will come to a party on a sunday, unless it’s early in the day.
And I don’t think my family will do anything for me either, actually I don’t think any of them likes me very much. I don’t belong here…
I want to go back to Japan, I don’t belong here, I have nothing here..
I only have one person, but I’m not sure if I’ll have him for much longer, because, well I’m afraid he will come to hate me too.

I guess this will be one of the only birthdays for wich I haven’t got anything planned.
I just hope I can be with my special someone, since I don’t have anyone else..

The end of the world

Do you ever wonder, if the world will come to an end? Well, eventually it will I guess..but..what if..
Just imagine, that the end of the world as we know it, might be right around the corner…

Take the Mayan calendar, so complex in so many ways, but the calendar stops abruptly on December 21st. 2012. How can that be?
Speculators say that, this is a prediction of the end of the world…Death of the Earth.
could this be true?

Science has proven that something significant will actually happen, on that excact day, the ecliptic of our solar system will intersect with the Galactic plane, called the “Galactic Equator” of the Milky Way! Our galaxy has always been on top of the “Galactic Equator”, but we are moving towards the bottom, slowly but surely..and if we are still here after December 12th 2012, we will be at the bottom of the Galactic Equator.
Interesting..I wonder if we will be here to see it?

What will happen?
I am not sure, but evidence speaks towards the anihilation of Earth and everything on it.
But why are the media not talking more about this subject..My guess is to avoid mass hysteria.
Think about it, if it has already been proven, and the government knows about “doomsday”, they would be sure to hide the facts, because what good will it do? If everyone knew that the planet would ceise to exist..I bet they’d stop working, or go to school..and there’d be a riot and a chaos. It would be the end of civilisation.
I guess this is why, we only get “theories” about “The end of the world”.
No one wants to toss the towel into the ring…

They also talk about a mysterious planet…called Planet X. Which should be headed our way.
The ”fly-by” of Planet X should also coincide with December 21. 2012.
There are a lot of evidence that points towards some big event this day.

I wonder if we will know it before its too late, or will we all keep living in this ignorance bliss?

I know for one, that I am setting my life towards ending this day, so I want to experience as much as I can before it is too late. I don’t know about you guys out there..
But I hope I can live my life to the fullest..
After all, I only have 4 more years to live, if everything turns out to be true…

I will turn 30 on september 21st 2012, only 4 months before the event.
I hope to have married the man I love, and to be living in Japan, when December 21st 2012 arrives..

What are your plans..if you only had 4 more years before it all ends?
What would YOU do?

Sources:
http://viewzone.com/endtime.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjjrStDxTrc&feature=related

WCS Day 1

July 29th~July 30th 2008

We had been awake all night, putting a last finishing touch to our costumes. We were both getting extremely tired, and it was hard to concentrate on packing our things.
But somehow we both managed to pack our bags, and our costumes. All in all we had 3 large suitcases
We took off from home at 7.30, and arrived at Kastrup Lufthavn just before 8.00.
Adrian hadn’t arrived yet, so we just sat aroud for a while waiting for him to show up, which eventually he did 10 minutes later. The lines for the check-in counters weren’t so bad at all, we only had to wait in a line for like 25 minutes. They checked us in, and sent our luggage on it’s way to the plane. Both of us were a bit reluctant to let our dear costumes out of sight, to loose them would be a catastrophy.

Then we had some time left until the flight was boarding, so Risa and I just hang out with Tatiana and David for a while, to say goodbye to them. It’s always hard to say goodbye, but luckily the both of them will meet us in Nagoya on August 1st. So it’s not so bad, we only have to be without them for a couple of days.

When we had boarded the plane and found our seats (all the way in the back) we could finally relax a little. The flight took off without problems or delay, and soon I started to nod off into sleep. I hadn’t been sleeping for almost 24 hours, and I was really totally wasted.
We had to transfer planes in Frankfurt, and so an hour and a half later, we landed in Frankfurt, and started out on a quest to find our next gate. It wasn’t quite simple since the information on the tickets didn’t really match the ones on the screens. Luckily we had more than enough time to search for the gate, and get something to eat too, because there was 4 hours until our plane to Nagoya took off.

We arrived at the gate just as the boarding had started, but as we walked down the corridor into the flight, they suddenly asked everyone to turn back, because they had a technical error, and the airconditioning system had malfunctioned. And thus it came to pass that we had to wait 2 more hours, before they finally got us on another flight.

It was cold, aboard the plane, Risa had to have 2 blankets and she was still freezing, though she easily fell asleep. And slept almost the whole trip. I on the other hand, was nodding away for a bit, and then waking up again. I had such a hard time relaxing, because my seat was broken, so it couldn’t lean back.
My back still hurts like hell..
They showed a movie called 10.000 BC, that was…a really weird movie indeed.
And after that I fell asleep for a while, and then woke up again.
And watched another movie, called something about gold or golden…about treasure hunters. When it ended I finally fell asleep of exhaution. And I woke up just as we had begun descending towards the airport.

It was really great to fly in a big plane, I never tried it before, I only ever had to fly in very small propellar planes. The ones that fly to Norway or Finland.

Coming out of the plane and into the hall, was like walking into a wall of heat. It was about 30 degrees celcius in Nagoya and the sun was shining.
While on the plane, we had to fill in some registration cards. Otherwise they wouldn’t let us in the country.
Luckily they didn’t think we looked fishy, so they just let us in.

As we went to claim our luggage, we got our first scare…
Two of our suitcases came out right next to eachother, and we took them immediately..but there was absolutely NO sign of our 3rd and most important suitcase…the one with our costumes in it!!!
for 15 minutes we stood there watching the luggage coming out…but nothing happend, and in the meantime Germany had found out that their luggage had not been on the plane with them, so it would PROBABLY come tomorrow. They were so devastated. And I was starting to loose hope!
BUT all of a sudden, our suitcase came out, and we hurried up after it. It was so great to know that it was there!
So we started towards the registration counter, where they first measured our temperature with some sort of scanner, and then we came to the next counter where we handed in the slip we had filled in aboard the plane. We came through easily. Though they took a picture and scanned our index fingers’ fingerprints. It was so strange. But finally we were inside the country for sure.

As we came out, some staff from TV-Aichi was waiting for us, with a camera, and started greeting us and filming us. Both of us really needed a shower and we looked like shit. xD But it was ok.
It had been such a long trip, almost 14 hours.
They took us outside, which turned out to be even warmed than inside the terminal. It was unbearable.
And they stoved us onto a mini van and drove off into town, where we arrived at the hotel. it was almost midday. We checked into the hotel, and got our room keys. Room 714 for me, and room 710 for Risa. They are nice and comfortable rooms, but a tad small. The toilet is really strange, it has a heated seat and a lot of buttons xD. You really gotte be carefull what you press, or water will splash into your rear end. >_<
Anyways, besides from the weird toilet, it was great to finally be able to take a bath. We had some free time until 16.30 where we would be leaving the hotel to go to a meeting with the stage managers.

This is when we found out, that our BRILLIANT act…couldn’t be used….
It was too long! They would only let the participants have 3 minutes. All this time, we had been told it was 5 minutes, but suddenly it was 3. So we had to change the whole thing.
And on our way back from the meeting, we went to a mall called Sunshine. And there we rode on a ferris wheel, it was huge! and it was really nice to just sit there and think, while looking at the view from above. We spotted two karaoke places..and we sooo wanted to go. But tomorrow there will be a big party with Karaoke too!

Then we went back to the hotel, and started working on our act. But we started to get hungry so we went outside to find somewhere to eat. But, instead we came across a Yukata/Kimono shop at Sakae Station shopping mall, where they had a 30% off sale on their Yukatas. Risa found a cute pink one, and I found one with a sakura pattern, and it had some black and some white background squares, under the sakura pattern. We also had to find an obi (belt) and a pair of Zouri (kimono shoes) for our Yukata, and we ended up with a hairpiece as well. I think we might have spent too much on this, but…It was really worth it, because it looks so great, and as we walked out of the shop, wearing the yukata outside our clothes (to the amusent of the shop ladies, who thought we were really strange to wear a Yukata like that, especially in this heat). As we walked down the streets to find a place to eat, a lot of japanese guys started to stare at us. Some even started talking to us, telling us that we were good looking and stuff.
Great fun!
We ended up eating some different types of japanese food, at a place called an “Isakaya”. Where they served a lot of different meals, all with fish in some way. Some of it was really great.

We then went back to the hotel, and started rewriting our script for the act. and editing our background music. It’s finally done..but, now it’s 6.30 in the morning and I am really getting tired!!

A video blog about today is going to come up soon!
Jya! Mata ne!

Japan here I come!

So, the day has come…finally…I am going to Japan!
And..somehow, I wish it wasn’t now! BECAUSE MY COSTUMES ARE NOT FINISHED!!!! NOoooo! ;_;

Oh well, I have one day left. We leave in early tomorrow morning.
The status is like this:
Tsubasa Chronicle – Sakura 100% Complete
Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuzu – Nagato Yuki – 80% complete (Only thing missing is..the dress…)
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon SuperS – Sailor Saturn – 70% complete (finishing details, and the boots)

I am sooo much looking forward to go to japan and do a good show!
I just hope everythings going to work out fine!

WISH US GOOD LUCK!

World cosplay Summit

I realise it has been quite a while since I updated this blog. I must do something about it..write some more posts..

I should have updated back in november, when something big happend to me! But I guess I was too exhausted to write anything about it.

But here goes.

In October my boyfriend David broke up with me, and dumped our cosplay totally. I searched for a new cosplay partner, for the Danish Cosplay Summit, qualification round for World cosplay summit.
I found a girl called Risa, who is my sister’s friend (now they are girlfriends ^^). She agreed to cosplay with me, and we found a costume that we wanted to do. Sakura and Syaoran in a special artwork version costumes. The picture here is what I made the costumes from:
This costume was not easy to make..especially Sakuras Dress…it was so difficult..and we only had 2 weeks left before the competition. We were sowing day and night.
And the costumes were finished an hour before we had to go on stage.
This is the result:

I think we managed fine actually. And I am very pleased with the results.

Just before the competition started, Risa hurt her foot and she could hardly walk. But she perfermed on stage perfectly without even showing how much it hurt. I actually fell off the stage while walking backwards, I was supposed to walk down a flight of stairs a bit, but I missed them and fell off instead..I crawled up and continued acting like nothing had happend. But I was convinced that it was over for us then, that we wouldn’t win.

This is our act:

The winners were announced…and..

WE WON!! WE ARE GOING TO JAPAN!!!!!!!
This was the most amazing thing in my life… I can’t wait to go to japan.
We are going to be in the finals of The World Cosplay Summit! This is so great!!!
We are now planning our new act, and trying to improve our costumes, esp. because I’ve lost weight, so now..the top is a bit too big for me xD damn!!

So…GANBATTE de Kudasai ne!!!

Cheer for us!!

P.S I love you

I went to the movies, and watched this “P.S I love You”.
It has to be the movie I cried most to in my life. Seriously, I just couldn’t stop crying. It was simply amazing.
It moved me so much, because it all reminds me so much of my situation. I too have lost the one I love the most, David, my dearest. Though he didn’t die, he is still very much alive, which kinda makes it all worse. I know he’s out there, but I cannot have him back.

We used to be like that, like Holly and Gerry..to fight and then make up again. Only our fights tended to be a lot more fierce..but we made up..we always made up…
I miss him..why can’t I have the one I love?
I don’t want to pretend that he’s gone forever..I wish I could have him back…
I love him..

David I love you ’till the end! I really do…when do you realise just how much I need you?

Backstreets Back again and again!!!

I’ve always loved Backstreet Boys, ever since their first single “we’ve got it goin’ on” I’ve been a fan!
I was so sad when they stopped doing new albums, and when they had their big comeback I was so happy!
The album “never Gone” was a big success! And I really loved all the songs! It was the perfect comeback! Now they’re ready with a new single called “Inconsolable”. You can listen to it by going to www.backstreetboys.com or on youtube!
The singles got what it takes to become a real hit! It’s got great lyrics, and wonderful harmony! The music and song is just perfect!

I listen to it all the time!

Enjoy the song

Inconsolable

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Felt like a scene on the cutting room floor
When I let you walk away tonight
Without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear,
I’d tell you this

CHORUS:
Baby I don’t want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it’s killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I’m wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I’m inconsolable

I climb the walls
I can see the edge but I can’t take the fall, no.
I’ve memorized the number
So why can’t I make the call?
Maybe ’cause I know you’ll always be with me
In the possibility

CHORUS:
Baby I don’t want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it’s killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I’m wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I’m inconsolable

I don’t want to be like this,
I just want to let you know,
Everything that I’m holding,
Is everything I can’t let go, can’t let go.

CHORUS:
Baby I don’t want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it’s killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I’m wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I’m inconsolable

Don’t you know it baby
I don’t want to waste another day

I’m wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I’m inconsolable

Kawaii Killer girls

Yet another review of an anime.
The anime is called Dai Mahou Touge.

It’s about a princess from the magical kingdom, she is called Punie.
She looks like a super cute and innocent young maiden, who charms everyone with her kind and loving heart…but on the inside she is a brutal, heartless, murderous, evil bitch, who uses a magic wand with the words “Lyrical Tokarev, Kill them All” to activate it. Or when her mahic is non useful, she uses a technique called Submission, with which she brutally breaks every bone in her opponents body.

The show has 8 small episodes, and 4 omake episodes!
It’s hysterically funny! I couldn’t stop laughing! The whole thing is so absurd, but its very enjoyable!
If you liked “Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan” you’ll love “Dai Mahou Touge”!!

This is the first Episode Enjoy!

part 1

part 2

part 3

A fight against evil

Now it is time for a little review. I recently saw this very interesting and totally cool anime.
It is called D.Gray-Man

The show is about a group of people who calls themselves Exorcists, they fight the evil Millenium Earl, who makes unhappy souls and human into Akuma, a powerful weapon which the Earl uses to kill human. He wants to annihilate the human race. The Exorcists posses something called Innocense which is a form of energy from old times, that can beat the Akuma. They have different Anti-Akuma weapons, and some are more powerful than others.
The show evolves around the main character Allen Walker, a kid who turned his own stepfather into an akuma, and got cursed by him. He can see the souls trapped inside the akuma, and he can see which humans have been turned into Akuma.
He’s a young guy with a powerful Anti-Akuma weapon in his left hand. He was born with a weird looking hand, which can transform itself into a giant arm with claws, or a powerful gun if he gets really mad.

It’s a very fantastic show, I cried already after the 4th or something episode. 
It has both funny, serious, sad scenes in it, and I just love all of it!
It’s very recommendable! 

This is the opening. Enjoy!