At some point in life, you will stop and look back…
Once I went to Norway for a whole summer. It was expected to become the best summer of my life, but instead it soon turned out to be very chaotic. Nothing went the way it was supposed to, things happend, that I can neither change nor deny. And it haunts me still to this day.
Still I regret so much that happend that summer, some things have become better, some wounds have slowely healed over the years, but one thing never got better again..this is what I will talk about today…
Once upon a time, there was this girl, who fell in love with this guy, and they got engaged. Even though they lived in each their country.
The girl lived in Denmark, and the boy lived in Norway.
So the girl came to visit this boy in norway, and there she met two classmates of the boy, Shiro and Moridin.
The girl became very close friends with both Shiro and Moridin, and they became almost inseperable. But she couldn’t stay for long in Norway, and had to get back to Denmark, and so they all kept in touch over the Internet, and they were all very happy, she thought she’d always have those guys as her very best friends. Little did she know that she was going to ruin it all, by one little mistake.
The time came, when the boy came to visit the girl in Denmark, things went fine at first, but little by little things began to go wrong. The girl was getting annoyed at the boy, and the boy also became annoyed with the girl, but still she followed him back to Norway to spend a month in the summer there.
Things got a bit better between them, but soon things began to crumble once more, the girl found herself in love with one of her friends, little did she know that the attraction was fatal. She started visiting this friend on her own, which at first seemed quite fine, as the two of them were merely having fun watching movies, and playing videogames. Unfortunately one weak moment led to a kiss between the girl and Moridin. This ruined everything. First she kept it a secret, it was a mistake, it was a secret…but she was dumb enough to tell her friend Shiro about it, he was really mad about it, but at first he was happy to know what was wrong. But then she felt she had to tell her fiancè about it, and that is where things got worse. The girl was confused, but she still felt she loved her fiancè, and when she went back home to denmark, it became even more confusing, because all of a sudden Moridin didn’t want to speak to her anymore. She had lost a very important friend because of one single moment of weakness, and she hated herself, she was torn, she was a wreackage, and she felt that she didn’t deserve to have any love. So she tried to think up some lies, to hurt her fiancè so much that he’d leave her, because she felt that is what she deserved from him, but he helt on, no matter how hard she tried to convince him, he kept loving her. One day she was really confused, and stood there in the shower, with a knife in her hand, ready to make and end to all the problems, but Shiro stopped her, he called her up, and talked her out of it, she stopped it, she knew it was stupid…but then something happend, Shiro stopped talking to her aswell..he couldn’t bear the thought of it all anymore, and he just turned his back agains her…she was devastated…she needed Shiro in her life, as her friend, she couldn’t bare the thought…but his descition was not to change.
When she went back to norway again that fall, things had changed drastically…
The once so happy trio, had fallen apart. All she felt now was loneliness, apart from her fiancè who still stood by her side, even though she had a hard time noticing it…she was too frustrated about loosing her two best friends, friends whom she felt she had a strong tie to. But All of the sudden, someone cut the string, and she felt herself floating away…realising only that is was her own stupidity that brought the happy times to an end.
Things got worse, when her fiancè suddenly gave up, he broke up with her, leaving her scarred and bleeding on the ground, a wound that would not easily heal itself again.
She tried desperately to get her friends back, but little did it do any good. They were lost from her grasp, and she couldn’t do anything but to drift around, searching and hoping they’d come back.
Moridin and Shiro had stopped talking to her alltogether, and she soon started searching for someone to fill the emptiness the loss of their freindship had left her with.
Her ex-fiancè Ninja-kun, soon figured out that he still loved her, and he wanted her back, she just felt it was too hard to start over, but she still loved him aswell, but she said to him honestly, that the wound had not yet healed inside her, and that she would need time before she could start seeing him again, another problem she felt, was the distance, she felt she could no longer handle the distance between them fysically. But she hoped he’d move to Denmark one day, so that they could begin a new.
She found a new friend, Koneko, but he could not replace them. He did fill a new part in her heart, as she really liked being with him, and she enjoyed their friendship, but it still was nothing like the good old times she had with Moridin and Shiro, she missed them so much.
Time and time again, she tried to get in contact with them, but she never had any luck with Shiro.
Allthough one day Moridin suddenly wrote to her, that he thought this whole thing had been silly, and that he wanted to be friends again, real friends, like before! And she got one part of the happy trio back! She was thrilled, she was ecstatic, never had she felt this happy. She felt like she got a part of herself back that day, but one part was still missing. Shiro…
Had she lost him forever? she wondered about this often,but as time went by she stopped thinking too much about it, she had met him once or twice since then, but he had changed so much, she could hardly recoignize him. He was a totally different person, no longer loving and caring, no longer the sweet and trustworthy friend he had once been.
He had started taking drinking to his liking, and that totally changed his character. She could only watch in sorrow, nothing could be done anymore. He didn’t even wanna look her way…she even bought him a present once, a late birthday present, and she went out of her way to bring it to him personally, allthough he seemed to think nothing of it, he seemed to just glance at her hatefully, she felt as though she were a bug, which his only wish was to destroy.
She knew she had lost him forever then….
Time has passed, almost 2 years now, and somewhere inside her heart, she is still hoping for her Shiro to return to her, to forgive her. But she knows that the chance for this is one in a million…
Shiro..
I miss you
This costume was not easy to make..especially Sakuras Dress…it was so difficult..and we only had 2 weeks left before the competition. We were sowing day and night.
